What Is Good? - 7/12/14

some of my thoughts

When I created this website (just two days ago, mind you), I was full of ideas for it. I would seek out all the good I could find and share it for others to see. It would bring smiles to the faces of multitudes (once I applied my amazing social skills to it - not!) and it would prove to me that my focus is very narrow and that the cruel, angry, warped world I see is not the only one out there.

I don't know whether to give up or go forward.

Seeking out the good is exposing me to more of what I'm trying to avoid. Conflict. Meanness and ignorance and indifference. Greed and sensationalism.

My next subject was going to be the no-kill shelters movement. I actually thought saving the lives of innocent animals would be an across-the-board-agreed-upon good thing. How naive! Wow! I've read more back and forth insults and accusations and seen more graphic images of these animals than I can handle. Whole groups of people are at each other's throats over whether or not these animals should be killed. Seriously? There's bitterness and hatred on both sides. There is nothing good to write about. And in the process of trying to find the good, I have come away with more sadness.

And it's not just the no-kill movement. It turns out that quite a bit of what I think is important to work on and change is actually highly controversial. Even if everyone believes there is a problem, they don't agree on the solutions. How can I write about what's good when they are all at odds and I don't know who's being honest about anything?

I'm feeling the implications of good being a matter of perspective and I'm not liking it at all. It's not bringing hope to me. Just about anything can be looked at in a variety of ways and seen as maybe not so good, and so what do I write about? What do I share?

I'm reminded of the ground squirrel I tried to save from a roadrunner. What a disaster that was for me! I heard him squealing and I saw a roadrunner pecking at him and I ran to his defense. It surprised me that the roadrunner didn't run away. I walked slowly toward him and he backed up a little, but he was determined not to lose his meal. While I am staring down this roadrunner, I see out of the corner of my eye, the ground squirrel is jumping toward me. He is trying to attack me! I jumped back and the roadrunner seized the opportunity and grabbed the squirrel and ran with it.

He stops a few yards away and slams the squirrel down and I run to his defense again. I finally get the roadrunner far enough away and the squirrel runs into a bush. I waited awhile and then, satisfied that the squirrel was safely hidden, I started walking away. And then the roadrunner went straight to the bush and grabbed the squirrel and ran under a trailer with it, where I couldn't do a thing. I was mortified!

Thinking about it afterward, I wondered if the squirrel had been near its burrow--protecting it--and if maybe it would have been able to scurry in there and get away if it had wanted to. Maybe my interference had distracted him just enough so that the roadrunner was able to grab him. Did I cause his death, by trying to do a good thing?

And what would have happened if I had saved him? Would the roadrunner just go away hungry and give up? Or would he have looked for another victim? Would I have been the cause of an otherwise safe animal being killed?

Well, now I think about that all the time. I tell myself that I should just look away, so that I don't have to feel the guilt and so that I don't change which animal survives, and yet...I saw a roadrunner headed to some trees, where I knew there were baby quail, and I ran as fast as I could (which is not too fast) to get there to make sure he didn't snatch one up. I never saw the quail family--they were likely out for a walk--and I didn't change anything, but it upset me all the same. I was confused about what I should be doing.

What is the right thing? What is good? Is saving a baby quail good?

I think I must rethink.